PART 3

She found a therapist specializing in anxiety disorders and joined support groups where she met people who understood what she was going through. Little by little, the Rebecca I knew resurfaced, but she was also different. She was more honest with herself, more self-aware, less inclined to hide behind a facade.

“I spent so many years afraid that people would think I was broken,” she confided in me one afternoon as we strolled through the park near her home. “Now I believe that pretending to be okay when you’re falling apart is what really destroys you.”

Her recovery wasn’t complete. Some days were still difficult. The anxiety was still there. But now she had tools, treatment, and people who knew the truth. She no longer had to pretend to be okay for everyone else.

Looking back, I see all the missed opportunities. I’ve learned that mental health issues can be invisible, even to those closest to us. Rebecca had become adept at hiding her symptoms, but I should have asked better questions too. I should have noticed the changes instead of lamenting them.

I learned that untreated mental health issues don’t just affect one person. They can devastate an entire relationship. Without understanding what was happening, I attributed our problems to a lack of effort, when the underlying issue was a suffering that neither of us knew how to confront.