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“You knew Noah?”
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“Your son made mine laugh on the worst day of his life,” Marian said. “Leo had just been told there were no more treatments. Then Noah ran past his room wearing an eye patch and waving a plastic sword.”
I smiled at the memory.
“Leo laughed,” Marian said. “He really laughed. And after that, he talked about the pirate boy every day.”
“And the cat?” I asked.
“We adopted Benji a few weeks later. Leo chose him because of the eye. He said Benji was brave like the pirate boy. He wanted to be brave too.”
My eyes filled.
I smiled at the memory.
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“Before Leo died, he made me promise something,” Marian continued. “He said, ‘Mama, find the pirate boy. Give him Benji. He knows how to be brave. He’ll keep him safe.'”
I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand.
“I searched for a year,” she said. “The hospital couldn’t give names. Then, three weeks ago, I saw Noah at the playground with his patch.”
“That still doesn’t explain my address.”
“I know.” Her voice shook. “I followed you once. I watched until you and Noah went inside. I wrote down the street number, and I hated myself.”
“Mama, find the pirate boy.”
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“You followed my child?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “And there’s no excuse. I was desperate, but that doesn’t make it right.”
“I’m sorry. I was afraid you’d say no, and I was more afraid I’d fail Leo again. And…”
“What?”
“Leo’s birthday is Saturday. Every year, people who loved him meet in the hospital garden. I wanted Benji, Captain, there this year.”
I stood up so fast the chair scraped behind me.
“No. I can’t take Noah back there.”
“You followed my child?”
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“I understand.”
“No, you don’t. I spent two years trying to get that hospital smell out of his life. I’m not walking my child back into grief because a stranger made a promise.”
“You can say no,” she said quickly. “Benji can still stay if you want him. I’ll pay his vet bills either way.”
I froze. “What?”
“And I’ll fix the Facebook comments. I saw them. Cecelia, I’m so sorry.”
“You saw them?”
“Yes. I should have spoken sooner.”
I looked through the window at Noah sleeping beside Captain.
“Benji can still stay if you want him.”
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“And Captain?”
“He belongs with Noah if you allow it.”
For the first time, the choice was mine.
“I need to think,” I said.
“Of course.”
***
The next morning, Noah found me at the kitchen table.
“The boy who loved Captain was a little boy like you,” I said.
Noah sat beside me. “Was he sick like me?”
“I need to think.”
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“Yes.”
“Did he get better?”
I shook my head.
Noah looked toward the living room, where Captain slept in a square of sunlight.
“When I was in the hospital,” he said, “I missed being normal.”
“I know, baby.”
“But Captain doesn’t make me feel sad. He makes me feel like different isn’t bad.”
I covered his hand with mine.
“I missed being normal.”
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“Leo’s mom goes to the hospital garden on his birthday. She asked if Captain could come with you.”
“Would I have to go too?”
“No. Not unless you want to.”
“Will it make you cry?”
“Probably.”