The office went silent around me.
“Where did she get this?” I asked.
“She said your phone lit up on the kitchen table while she was sitting there.”
“And she read it?”
“She saw enough,” Mr. Carson said. “Then she wrote the words down and asked me to keep them for this box.”
“And she never said anything?”
“No. She wanted to see what you would do without being caught.”
“Where did she get this?”
I dropped the paper back into the box like it had burned me. Beneath it was a stack of receipts for boots, a coat, mechanic bills, a dental visit, and two credit card payments.
Each receipt had Evie’s handwriting on it.
“You lied about this one.”
“You thanked me for this one.”
“You almost told me the truth here.”
The last receipt was for the coat I’d worn to her funeral.
“You lied about this one.”
“You looked ashamed when I noticed you were cold, Damon. That was the first honest thing I saw on your face.”
I covered my mouth. “Why would she keep all this?”
“Because she knew you were keeping score too,” Mr. Carson said.
I hated myself for two seconds.
She gripped the counter. Her mouth moved, but no words came out.
“Hey. Look at me.”
Her knees buckled.
I caught her before her head hit the floor.
At the hospital, a doctor with tired eyes found me.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “Her heart failed.”
“She was just eating jam,” I whispered.
“Hey. Look at me.”
The funeral was three days later. I wore the coat she bought me.
Claire, Evie’s niece, saw it first.
“Of course you wore that.”
.” “What is it?”
Mr. Carson didn’t look away. “She said this is what you really wanted.”
My fingers felt stiff as I lifted the lid.
The first thing inside was a folded sheet of printed paper. I opened it and saw the words from my text to Jesse:
“All good. Once she’s gone, I’m set.”
“She said this is what you really wanted.”
I’m not asking them to forgive you. I’m asking you to stop lying.
That is what you really wanted.
Not my house or my money, but a way to stop being afraid.
Evie.”
“I’m asking you to stop lying.”
***
When I finished Evie’s letter, I could barely breathe.
Mr. Carson placed two envelopes on the desk.
“Envelope A means you leave with the box,” he said. “No one hears anything else from this office.”
“And B?”
“There’s a luncheon tomorrow for the fund Evie created. If you attend, I read her final note. After that, you decide whether to speak.”
I stared at the envelopes. “Everyone will know.”
“If you attend, I read her final note.”
“Only if you tell them.”
That was worse. Evie had left the knife in my hand.
***
The next afternoon, I walked into the church basement alone.